Category: Let's talk
Hi, all. I just had to share a story that happened to me the other day, and get your comments about it.
My friend Alan repairs Perkins Braillers for a living. A couple days ago, Alan and I were talking to one of his friends, a guy named Jim. Jim was really nervous around a blind person, being all politically correct. He even referred to me once as sightless, which got on my nerves in the extreme. We were speaking of Alan's occupation, and Jim asked how Alan fixed a Brailler. Alan started to explain the Perkins, and Jim acted surprised. He said that he would have thought the word Brailler was a slang term, referring to a blind person who reads Braille. I was immediately annoyed, and not sure how to show it. Thankfully my wits served me well at that precise moment. I proceeded to ask Jim if he was a printer. The joke went right over his head, which made it even mor amusing in my opinion. To clear his confusion, I asked him if the word printer didn't mean a sighted person who reads print? He laughed a little sheepishly, and I think he got the point, because he knocked off with the politically correct crap after that. Why are people so dumb?
Hi, I know what it is like, some people just don't know what to do round blind people but yes I would be annoyed if somebody called me sightless.
Here's the thing... I'm an incredibly blunt person (ask anyone who's spent five minutes with me in person). When people are struggling for the right words, I let them know tht I don't care what they call me; justdon't call me late for dinner. That way they can choose the term, but are choosing it because it's their choice, not to spare my poor, fragile, blindie feelings...
And, Sister Dawn, good job!
Brailers and printers? Hmm. I kinda like that. Good. When I was younger, someone once told me I didn't sound blind. I thanked them, and told them they didn't look deaf to me, either. I shouldn't have done that, but you gotta take your fun where you can find it.
LOL, asking if he was a printer was good. Good job with that!
I do know how you feel about all that, though. I get extremely frustrated with people when they treat us like we're aliens from another planet. For example, my boyfriend has a friend, and sometimes I hate going over to his house, because his wife is such a ditz. She can be so stupid, and ignorant when it comes to me. She'll say the most ridiculous things, and I get so angry with her. Or, when people talk to you in that small, child like voice, as if you don't understand what they're saying? Ugh, how aggravating is that!
Personally, 'sightless' doesn't bother me, and I agree wholeheartedly with CrazyMusician. Another question you might've posed:
Are you speechless because I'm sightless?
Another pet peeve is when people talk around me... they'll talk to whoever I'm with. "What would she like?" "Does she want coffee?" Grrrrr!
Oh yeah! I hate that! It's like, um, excuse me. I can hear, and I can talk, you know!
i absolutely hate that as well. when people say that, i speak up, that way they know i'm no different than anyone else.
Lol laughing and speaking I like that one that was funny. You go sister dawn!
Yes, when I go tothe doctors or something the doctor will talk to my mum like how is she? I don't like people doing that iether.
Hi, guys. Nice posts. Yeah, I couldn't resist asking the guy if he was a printer. It's the kind of thing my Mom would have called rude and/or aggressive, but I don't care. She thinks I should be more patient with sighted folks when they do that kind of thing. Sometimes I can be. But as any of you who have been reading in the Animal House board know, this week has not been the best for me. I'm amazed I didn't snap at this guy. I managed to ask my printer question with a smile on my face, not in the biting tone I wanted to. I guess it goes back to that line between educating the sighted public, and putting up with insults. We don't want them to think that all blind people are grouchy. But sometimes, on some days, enough is enough, and a question will just blow your top, so to speak.
Gemini, I agree that it is very annoying when someone talks to you like a child. I've had that happen several times and once someone even patted my head while doing that! I hate it though because I get ticked but never know what to say at that moment, but I think that has to be one of the most annoying things that gets to me because I don't even talk to little kids like that and would only do that to a dog or something. (No offense to those who do, but that's just me.) I am getting to where I would tell the person something the next time that ever happens.
I also don't like when others talk to the person with me and will (if possible) immediately answer the questions that are meant for me, or my mom will tell them to talk to me. Usually, they learn from either of those reactions, and I'm happy for that. I have gotten some people (thankfully rarely), who continue to talk to whose with me and don't pay attention when I answer. If they're adults, I decide that I don't like them (although I would say hi and little stuff like that), but if they're kids, (although the situation is always annoying), it doesn 't get to me as much because they still talk to me and ask questions on they're own, and I think they are easier to learn about a disabled/unusual person .
As for the political correctness about a blind person, that honestly doesn't get to me. If someone asks what term they should use, I tell them they can use the word blind, but if they use another term, it doesn't bother me either. I personally use the words blind for totally blind, visually impaired for people with partial vision, challenged when describing people with a category of disability such as mentally challenged, behaviorally challenged, etc., or disabled when referring to all people with a disability. To me, they're just terms, and although some might get to me for a second, I personally don't see them as anything to make a big issue over, (although that "brailler/printer story was funny. *chuckle*) Now if they were to call me or other disabled people helpless or something like that, I'd be annoyed at that, but I think then it would just be a matter of educating them that we're not.
Oh wow, someone has patted your head? I've actually had people do similar gestures. That is something I just cannot stand. As far as someone asking someone else things about you, that you can answer yourself, that has to be one of my worst pet peeves. When it happens, I speak up. sometimes, they'll say something like, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize . . ." I try to be understanding, but sometimes, things people say or do, are just completely ridiculous.
Well, speaking of head patting, I went to alunch with a co-worker of mine who was female. The waiter ignored her and pulled out my chair. She said "Well, Lou, I guess Chivalry isn't dead after all." I almost started laughing then. Wel, the guy almost bodily lifted me into the chair. After I sat down, he patted my head. My friend said "Well should I bring you a leash or biscuit next time we go to lunch?" We laughed about that for a long time afterwards.
Some times my mum says the blind need to be educated sighted people to. She is properly wright all thought I don't like it. Somebody told me it is 50 50 between blind and sighted people.
Someone started a post about educating sighted people a few weeks ago. I think its an ongoing process. As one of the posters on the topic said, and I'm paraphrasing here, but its like chipping away at a huge block of ice. You do a little at a time. It sorta comes with the teritory, although we don't like it.
Lou
Hi sister dawn,
I'm impressed with the fact that you could make your printing joke with a smile on your face. I can't control my facial expressions at al, and either I think, my face either shows nothing at all, or it expresses my feelings totaly. I wonder if i had any expression on my face when that counselor kept asking how i knew she was right behijnd me. for those who have not read the post where I talk about it, this counselor at a camp for the handicapped kept asking me how I knew she was behind me or rather she kept asking where am i? and I kept telling her she was behind me.she asked how i knew she wasn't a ventriloquist. I replied, well, if you were a ventriloquist, you would be performing at a night club somewhere and not here, because I don't think you're here to help people. I got a couple of interesting responses from 2 people, not on here, but 2 other people, jonathan mosen for one, who used to be the president of acbradio programming. he said, he would have said, you're not the ventriloquist, you're the dummy. and a friend I use to have told me she would've said, because you're the devil, and the devil is always behind you. I cracked up over both of them. I just said what came to mind, and i was to be honest, very amused when i got the feeeling my response left her feeling stupid. I don't mind sightless, because it's as accurate as blind, but I can't stand people who can't stand the word blind. I just hate the term visually impaired for me, because it's not correct in the least, because it implies that i have some vision, which I don't. btw, I just hate posing for pictures, one, because it's boring and tedious sitting there waiting for the camera to click, letting me know the picture is done and I can drop my pose, two, because as stated earlier, I can't fake or create a facial expression on my own, so therefore, I can't smile on demand.
wonderwoman
I also hate when people speak to my companion, but I always speak up to let them know I have my own mind! The problem with me is that if someone says something that is dumb I can't think of anything to say to them right then and there.
I have the same problem Sandra 87, when someone says something stupidly insensitive, my mind usually goes blank, unless I say something like, who asked you or whatever comes to my mind to say. I can almost never think of something witty and clever until it's too late, and the time has passed. that's what I like about board posting and email rather than being in person with someone or being in a chat room where it's all instant. I can read a message directed at me, and if it's insensitive or mean, I can wait and see if any witty clever remark comes to mind. sometimes it never does, then sometimes I get lucky and it comes, and i post it the instant I think of it so i can say it exactly as I thought of it. It makes me sound much more witty and clever than I actually am.
wonderwoman
Most of the time I can't come up with a witty retort on the spot, either. That time was an exception to the rule.
Now, the whole head-patting thing puzzles me. I get the impression a lot of this behavior y'all are talking about is either because when somebody can't make eye contact with them or doesn't use a lot of facial expressions, people have a hard time knowing how to act because they might not be used to having to be pretty much vocal only in their communications. The other thing, of course, is a general lurking fear of offending us, although I've never gotten a clear answer as to what horrible scary fate they imagine would befall them if they did randomly up and offend us. Do they have nightmares about this or something? I agree that education is a good thing when you've got the chance to do it. Hopefully your subject is open to education and not so stubborn or proud or full of themselves to believe they just don't need educating, especially from a mere blind person. LOL!
hello the one thing that I hate is when peopletake you guide me they grab underyour arm pit.
When i was younger I used to have some sighted friends but they would go away and say they would be back but they didn't come back. I think they didn't know what to do with me. I remember two girls telling me they were twins and later I found out they weren't. Don't know why they told me that.
Hi Dawn. I was with my sisters one day in a restaurant. The waitress, dense and extremely stupid came to our table and was taking our orders. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, "What does she want?" I took her hand and with the other pointed at one of my sisters and said, "i don't know what she wants, but I want a salad and a steak." She never acted stupid after that. Lol
Nice, DreamLady. Great come-back.
Restaurant humor? Well, I think one of my favorite stories involved when I was in a restaurant where I hadn't been before. I was by myself, and was waiting to be seated. The hostes asked the usual question about the number of people in my party and smoking or nonsmoking. I answered her. After a pause she said "Well... do you want to hold me?" I almost lost it, because every thought I had was getting more and more x-rated. I somehow managed to compose myself long enough to say "Let me take your elbo, thanks." As soon as she left, I about died laughing.
Lou
lol Lou. I might have said something like, "we haven't even met yet."
Dream Lady that was a great response.
My sister can, at times, be shamelessly blunt. Once in a restaurant the waitress asked her "what does he want" and without batting an eye my sister said, "how the hell should I know. Why don't you ask him."
I broke up, the waitress was embarrassed, and my sister didn't see anything funny or embarrassing about the question.
Bob
oh that was good.
I also hate posing fore pictures the person who sits or stands beside me always gets a rant lecture on why I hate pictures
You know Dawn, you'd think that since it's the twenty-first century, that ignorance about our condition would be eliminated. I don't dare say the word blind because a sighted person might be reading this and be offended. No seriously, what is wrong with them? I've had them try to hold my hand if I prefer sighted guide. I don't mean to be rude or critical, but I'm tired of the ignorance of these people. If we are to take back our lives in our own hands, we need to decide that when they do something stupid or inappropriate, we need to tell them we can hear perfectly and they don't have to shout, or, I'd hold your hand honey, but your significant other might be watching. I've met sighted folks who would whisper the word blind if they were asking me or someone else about my visual-impairment. I've had them tell me I was amazing because I could boil tea. I mean really. lol
A nurse at my doctor's office always seems to think I'm five years old. She keeps taking me by my right elbow and praising me for doing something as simple as stepping on the scale. How annoying! Thank goodness my actual doctor isn't like that.
My mom used to answer questions dirrected at me, but I've told her very firmly to stop doing that. Wow, did that get really annoying, or what? lol